Friday, August 12, 2011
Preserving Our Memories
I find it amazing how something small and otherwise trivial can bring about a flood of memories. Listen to a song from your high school years and see where your mind wanders. Catch a whiff of a certain cologne and your memories take over!
There are so many ways to preserve our special memories. Here are just a few ideas to try:
THOUGHTS
What better way to preserve your thoughts than to keep a journal. Some people cringe at the idea of journal writing: they think of "Dear Diary, today I woke up, I brushed my teeth..." However journals can be so much more than that!
• Create a special journal for things you think about your husband. When you fill it up, you can give it to him as a gift (or keep it for yourself to remember all that honeymoon bliss or little petty arguments that seemed so big at the time!)• Create a special journal for your hopes and dreams. Only write in it when you get an idea of "what you want to be when you grow up." Go back through it years from now and laugh at all of your ideas and applaud the good ones!
• Create a journal for your children. Start it when you first find out that they are coming and write in it intermittently throughout their life. Give it to them as a special one-of-a-kind gift on their graduation or wedding day.
• Create a prayer journal. Write down your thoughts and prayers to God. Go back through it periodically and check off prayers that have been answered. See how God is working in your life!
Whatever kind of journal you decide to make, don't feel you have to write in it everyday if you don't want to. Use it as a creative outlet, a place to store your best (and worst) memories and a place to let out your emotions. Years from now, it will be a treasured gift for you or whomever you share it with.
FAMILY HERITAGE
Have you ever wanted to find out more about your family history? With the advent of the world wide web, this has never been easier. Preserve your heritage by creating a family tree. Trace your ancestors
back to the Mayflower or beyond! Find your family crest and proudly display it in your home. Researching your family history can be a fun and educational experience for the whole family. There are many websites available to help you find information and help you get in touch with long-lost relatives..PHOTOGRAPHS
So you have piles, drawers and boxes full of old photographs? Join the club! There are so many ways to preserve photographs today! You can scan photos and save them on disk. You can also go to a professional studio where they can take photos, videos and even old movie reels and transfer them to DVD (you can find a list of local studios at the end of this article). There are many different photo storage solutions out there. Photo boxes that are acid-free are best. Store your photos in a cool, dry, dark place (garages, basements and attics are not good choices!). If you decide to put your photos in albums, make sure the albums are made with acid-free materials. Avoid using photo albums with the sticky pages -- over time the glue will permanently bond to your photos, making it impossible to remove them. If you are a creative person, you can preserve your photographs and other memorabilia in a scrapbook (or two, or five!). Scrapbooking is very big these days and there is a plethora of stickers, papers, borders and other paraphernalia to make your scrapbooks sparkle.
MUSIC
For me, music brings about a lot of memories. I can listen to a song and be instantly transported to my junior prom, my college apartment or a special moment in my marriage. I will never forget the song that was playing as I delivered my daughter (It was "Deliver Me" by Sarah Brightman, believe it or not!). Go through your collection of tapes, records, CDs and even 8-Tracks (does anyone have those anymore?). Make a mixed tape or CD of the songs that mean something to you or help you remember a certain time in your life. Listening to them will allow you to take a step back into history -- and you will have a lot of fun putting them together too!
CLOTHING
Did you have a favorite dress as a child or teen? Or now, as a mother, does the sight of your daughter's first Easter dress send you down memory lane? Consider making a quilt out of these old clothes. A small scrap of each fabric is enough for a square and with a little effort, you will have a family heirloom full of memories.
SCENTS
How I wish I still had the scent that my grandmother used to wear! Whenever I catch a whiff of that scent, I know everything will be ok. I wish I knew what it was so I could always have it around for reassurance. You can keep your favorite smells nearby in a number of ways. Candle companies make scented candles in hundreds of scents, including Christmas Cookies (for us baking-illiterate folks), Seaside, with the smell of the ocean breeze and many others. These candles are usually reasonably priced and will fill your whole house with a lovely scent that can bring back lots of memories of good times. If it is a perfume you want to save, here is an easy sachet you can make:
Cotton Ball SachetIngredients Needed:
6 inch square of fine lace material
18 inch piece of narrow ribbon
6 cotton balls
perfume
Instructions:
1. Lay 6 cotton balls together in center of lace material.
2. Spray cotton balls with perfume.
3. Bring ends of lace together, over cotton balls, and tie firmly with ribbon.
4. Tie ribbon in a bow.
(Cotton Ball Sachet From: "You Can Make It! You Can Do It!" by Ann Peaslee, Jullien Kille & Dave Ball)
Originally Posted on CharlotteMommies.com
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Hey Mom, Why Does Your Kid Wear that Football Helmet?
Childbirth, we all pray for it to be easy, but I was one of the not-so-lucky ones. I had a long and painful labor, my son was stuck against my pelvic bone for hours, and when he was finally suctioned out, his head was severely misshapen. Many kids come out with crooked heads, isn’t this what that hoodie in the hospital is for? “Give it a few weeks, the doctors say”. Well, I gave it a few months, and the condition only got worse. My son developed severely restricted head and neck movement, which in turn resulted in hearing problems and infections that we are still dealing with 18 months later.
So what is this called? The condition is called plagiocephaly, Greek for “an oblique head”; plagiocephaly results from external forces applied to a soft and malleable infant skull. This can be the result of childbirth, but can also develop from a number of external circumstances such as sleeping on the back with little tummy time, or only turning the head in one direction due to torticollis (restriction of the neck muscles), and prolonged use of an infant car seat, carrier, or swing (perhaps due to reflux). Whatever the case, many of us are mistakenly told by our pediatricians that the asymmetry will fix itself. However, in moderate or severe cases, this is untrue. Sure, the child’s hair will grow and perhaps the deformity will be slightly camouflaged, but this condition is not one that is self-correcting.
So what does this mean? Many people, including some insurance companies, also believe that plagiocephaly is merely a cosmetic problem. This is not the case, facial asymmetry can cause eating and chewing problems, vision problems, and in my son’s case, hearing problems and ear infections. This is a medical condition, and one that as parents, we should probably be aware of. Well, we all know that babies need to sleep on their backs and ride in infant carriers while in the car, so what treatments are available to assist in correcting the head shape? The child will most likely have to wear a custom-fit helmet or band for 23 hours a day for several months to correct the problem. The helmet, though it looks obtrusive, is quite lightweight and rarely bothers the child. My son actually cried when we took his off! The specialist will cast a mold of the child’s head to develop a band for the child that will slowly correct the deformity through constant pressure. The band will be adjusted weekly to accommodate growth and development. Many children are treated after two or three months, though some will wear their head accessory for as long as six months. Treatment is most successful if started between 4 and 6 months; however, a child can start treatment at as late as 18 months. Additionally, physical therapy is also affective in reinforcing the treatment.
So, the next time you see a child running around in a white or painted helmet that looks like they may be a baby wrestler or football player, you will now know that that child is being treated for plagiocephaly. And moms and dads, if this happens to your child, please learn the facts, know that this is a medical condition and does require attention, but also know that it can be treated without painful or intrusive surgery, and most important, know that this is not your fault. Let’s educate one another, our doctors, and our insurance companies. Stay aware of your child’s development and be proactive in his treatment. And hey, look at the bright side, I was actually thankful during a few baby tumbles that my child was well protected in his headgear! And the bands are a great way for your child to express his individuality.
For more information, please visit http://www.cappskids.org or http://www.cranialtech.com.
{Originally posted on RichmondMommies}
So what is this called? The condition is called plagiocephaly, Greek for “an oblique head”; plagiocephaly results from external forces applied to a soft and malleable infant skull. This can be the result of childbirth, but can also develop from a number of external circumstances such as sleeping on the back with little tummy time, or only turning the head in one direction due to torticollis (restriction of the neck muscles), and prolonged use of an infant car seat, carrier, or swing (perhaps due to reflux). Whatever the case, many of us are mistakenly told by our pediatricians that the asymmetry will fix itself. However, in moderate or severe cases, this is untrue. Sure, the child’s hair will grow and perhaps the deformity will be slightly camouflaged, but this condition is not one that is self-correcting.
So what does this mean? Many people, including some insurance companies, also believe that plagiocephaly is merely a cosmetic problem. This is not the case, facial asymmetry can cause eating and chewing problems, vision problems, and in my son’s case, hearing problems and ear infections. This is a medical condition, and one that as parents, we should probably be aware of. Well, we all know that babies need to sleep on their backs and ride in infant carriers while in the car, so what treatments are available to assist in correcting the head shape? The child will most likely have to wear a custom-fit helmet or band for 23 hours a day for several months to correct the problem. The helmet, though it looks obtrusive, is quite lightweight and rarely bothers the child. My son actually cried when we took his off! The specialist will cast a mold of the child’s head to develop a band for the child that will slowly correct the deformity through constant pressure. The band will be adjusted weekly to accommodate growth and development. Many children are treated after two or three months, though some will wear their head accessory for as long as six months. Treatment is most successful if started between 4 and 6 months; however, a child can start treatment at as late as 18 months. Additionally, physical therapy is also affective in reinforcing the treatment.
So, the next time you see a child running around in a white or painted helmet that looks like they may be a baby wrestler or football player, you will now know that that child is being treated for plagiocephaly. And moms and dads, if this happens to your child, please learn the facts, know that this is a medical condition and does require attention, but also know that it can be treated without painful or intrusive surgery, and most important, know that this is not your fault. Let’s educate one another, our doctors, and our insurance companies. Stay aware of your child’s development and be proactive in his treatment. And hey, look at the bright side, I was actually thankful during a few baby tumbles that my child was well protected in his headgear! And the bands are a great way for your child to express his individuality.
For more information, please visit http://www.cappskids.org or http://www.cranialtech.com.
{Originally posted on RichmondMommies}
Monday, August 8, 2011
Menu Monday - Vietnamese Stir Fried Chicken with Lemon Grass
Vietnamese Stir Fried Chicken with Lemon Grass
Ingredients:
1 Stick fresh or 2 tb dried slices lemon grass
2 lb Chicken pieces, cut into small pieces
1 Garlic clove, large
1/2 inch cube fresh ginger
1 tb Sugar
1 1/2 tb Tomato paste
1/2 ts Salt
1/4 ts Chilli powder
1/4 ts Ground turmuric
YOU ALSO NEED
2 Cloves garlic
3 tb Vegetable oil
1 tb Fish sauce OR salt to taste
4-8 tb chicken stock
3 1/2 oz Onions
Cooking Instructions:
First prepare the marinade. If you are using fresh lemon grass, cut it crossways into very thin slices, starting at the bulbous bottom end and going up around 6 inches. Discard the strawlike top. If you are using dried lemon grass, soak it in 4 tb of hot water for an hour. Put the chicken pieces in a bowl, add the fresh lemon grass or the drained soaked dried lemon grass (save the soaking liquid). Peel and crush the large garlic clove, peel the ginger and grate it finely. Add the garlic, ginger, sugar, tomato paste, salt, chilli powder and turmeric to the chicken. Mix, cover and set aside for 1-24 hours, refrigerating if necessary. Peel and finely chop the two garlic cloves. Put the oil in a wok or large, lidded frying pan and set over a high heat. When it is hot, put in the garlic. Stir and fry for 30 secs or until the garlic is golden. Add the chicken along with its marinade. Stir and fry for 5-6 mins or until the chicken browns a little. Add the fish sauce and either the lemon grass soaking liquid or 4 tb stock. Stir once and cover. Cook on high heat for 5 mins. Lift the lid and stir, adding another 4 tb of stock. Cover, turn the heat to low and cook for another 5 mins. While the chicken cooks, peel the onions and cut them into a 3/4 inch dice. Separate the onion layers within the diced pieces. Turn the heat under the chicken to high, remove the wok lid, add the onion and fry for 1 minute. Lift the chicken out of oil and serve.
Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by a member.
Ingredients:
1 Stick fresh or 2 tb dried slices lemon grass
2 lb Chicken pieces, cut into small pieces
1 Garlic clove, large
1/2 inch cube fresh ginger
1 tb Sugar
1 1/2 tb Tomato paste
1/2 ts Salt
1/4 ts Chilli powder
1/4 ts Ground turmuric
YOU ALSO NEED
2 Cloves garlic
3 tb Vegetable oil
1 tb Fish sauce OR salt to taste
4-8 tb chicken stock
3 1/2 oz Onions
Cooking Instructions:
First prepare the marinade. If you are using fresh lemon grass, cut it crossways into very thin slices, starting at the bulbous bottom end and going up around 6 inches. Discard the strawlike top. If you are using dried lemon grass, soak it in 4 tb of hot water for an hour. Put the chicken pieces in a bowl, add the fresh lemon grass or the drained soaked dried lemon grass (save the soaking liquid). Peel and crush the large garlic clove, peel the ginger and grate it finely. Add the garlic, ginger, sugar, tomato paste, salt, chilli powder and turmeric to the chicken. Mix, cover and set aside for 1-24 hours, refrigerating if necessary. Peel and finely chop the two garlic cloves. Put the oil in a wok or large, lidded frying pan and set over a high heat. When it is hot, put in the garlic. Stir and fry for 30 secs or until the garlic is golden. Add the chicken along with its marinade. Stir and fry for 5-6 mins or until the chicken browns a little. Add the fish sauce and either the lemon grass soaking liquid or 4 tb stock. Stir once and cover. Cook on high heat for 5 mins. Lift the lid and stir, adding another 4 tb of stock. Cover, turn the heat to low and cook for another 5 mins. While the chicken cooks, peel the onions and cut them into a 3/4 inch dice. Separate the onion layers within the diced pieces. Turn the heat under the chicken to high, remove the wok lid, add the onion and fry for 1 minute. Lift the chicken out of oil and serve.
Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by a member.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The National Auction has Arrived!
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a community to support a mother and to provide her with the resources, encouragement, and opportunities necessary for her to be her best. With more than 90 local chapters and a national site that reaches all moms, The Mommies Network provides that community.
We are a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide a safe, secure, FREE place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents, and community leaders. Our philosophy is that no one should have to pay a fee to make a friend, so we offer free membership to any mother within the community who wishes to join. Members gain camaraderie and support through an online forum that is available 24 hours a day, as well as local events where mothers can meet and develop friendships that last a lifetime.
This August, The Mommies Network is hosting our second annual National Auction and will donate 25 percent of the funds raised to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a national network of volunteer photographers who "introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with the free gift of professional portraiture … [to] serve as an important step in the family's healing process by honoring their child's legacy." The remaining 75 percent of funds raised will be used to further the mission of TMN to provide support to moms across the country.
We believe that by working together, mothers can change the world — one family, one neighborhood, one community at a time. The Mommies Network is a connecting force, helping us each to make a difference in our own lives, in our families, and in the places we call home.
We are a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide a safe, secure, FREE place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents, and community leaders. Our philosophy is that no one should have to pay a fee to make a friend, so we offer free membership to any mother within the community who wishes to join. Members gain camaraderie and support through an online forum that is available 24 hours a day, as well as local events where mothers can meet and develop friendships that last a lifetime.
This August, The Mommies Network is hosting our second annual National Auction and will donate 25 percent of the funds raised to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a national network of volunteer photographers who "introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with the free gift of professional portraiture … [to] serve as an important step in the family's healing process by honoring their child's legacy." The remaining 75 percent of funds raised will be used to further the mission of TMN to provide support to moms across the country.
We believe that by working together, mothers can change the world — one family, one neighborhood, one community at a time. The Mommies Network is a connecting force, helping us each to make a difference in our own lives, in our families, and in the places we call home.
Friday, August 5, 2011
5 Little Sayings to Help You Get Organized
'Spring Ahead. Fall Back.' That little saying always helps us remember whether we should set the clock ahead or back one hour. Similar little sayings, are also great for helping you to get and stay organized. Here are just a few:
1. A HOME FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE. Every item you have, no matter what it is, should have a designated home. For instance, the home for your magazines might be your magazine holder, which is located on your bookshelf. Or your home for your extra file folders and labels, might be the top shelf of your office supplies cabinet. If an item doesn't have a specific home, it's considered to be 'homeless.' Something that is homeless, tends to get lost. Designate a specific home for all of your stuff. Then, be sure that everything taken, gets returned to its home when done being used.
2. DON'T PUT IT DOWN. PUT IT AWAY. When you remove something from its home, the best thing to do when you're done using it, is to put it away. Yes, sometimes it seems easier to just place it on the kitchen table until later, or to put it on your desk until tomorrow. Unfortunately, this often results in many items being out of place, which can leave your home or office in disarray. Never mind the fact that it presents a bad example for other family members, or staff members. Don't give clutter a chance to form. Put it away now. You'll find it when you need it, and your environment will remain clutter-free.
3. FILE, DON'T PILE. It is very easy to get overwhelmed with paper. Our paper volume increases on a daily basis. Between lists, mail, bills, school papers, documentation, warranties, etc., it's often seen as a pain to take the time to handle those papers immediately. However, if those papers begin to transform themselves into piles--and they usually do--it's going to be even more of a pain to get them under control. Piles tend to get taller and taller, until even the idea of dismantling them seems colossal. This results in lots of piles, and even more stress. If you DON'T need a piece of paper, get rid of it immediately. Either recycle it, or give it to the appropriate party. If you DO need a piece of paper, file it right now. Don't put it down, even for a minute. Either place it in your filing cabinet, your Tickler file, your bill paying system, etc. If you take the time to file it now, it won't stand a chance of growing into a huge pile.
4. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. Clutter and chaos go hand in hand. The more things you have, the easier it is for clutter to form and grow. Always remember to place your emphasis on quality over quantity. In other words, it's not important to have a lot of things, many of which you never use. It's more beneficial to have fewer things, all of which you use and/or enjoy. Simplify your life and you will get and stay organized!
5. FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED WHEN YOU NEED IT, GET EVERYTHING DONE WHEN IT'S DUE. Many people think that getting organized is about being neat and tidy. On the contrary, a person who is not very neat or tidy, can be very organized. Being organized actually entails 'finding everything you need when you need it, and getting everything done when it's due.' If you can master these two things, you are well on your way to being organized.
Post submitted by Maria Garcia
{Originally submitted to CharlotteMommies}
1. A HOME FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE. Every item you have, no matter what it is, should have a designated home. For instance, the home for your magazines might be your magazine holder, which is located on your bookshelf. Or your home for your extra file folders and labels, might be the top shelf of your office supplies cabinet. If an item doesn't have a specific home, it's considered to be 'homeless.' Something that is homeless, tends to get lost. Designate a specific home for all of your stuff. Then, be sure that everything taken, gets returned to its home when done being used.
2. DON'T PUT IT DOWN. PUT IT AWAY. When you remove something from its home, the best thing to do when you're done using it, is to put it away. Yes, sometimes it seems easier to just place it on the kitchen table until later, or to put it on your desk until tomorrow. Unfortunately, this often results in many items being out of place, which can leave your home or office in disarray. Never mind the fact that it presents a bad example for other family members, or staff members. Don't give clutter a chance to form. Put it away now. You'll find it when you need it, and your environment will remain clutter-free.
3. FILE, DON'T PILE. It is very easy to get overwhelmed with paper. Our paper volume increases on a daily basis. Between lists, mail, bills, school papers, documentation, warranties, etc., it's often seen as a pain to take the time to handle those papers immediately. However, if those papers begin to transform themselves into piles--and they usually do--it's going to be even more of a pain to get them under control. Piles tend to get taller and taller, until even the idea of dismantling them seems colossal. This results in lots of piles, and even more stress. If you DON'T need a piece of paper, get rid of it immediately. Either recycle it, or give it to the appropriate party. If you DO need a piece of paper, file it right now. Don't put it down, even for a minute. Either place it in your filing cabinet, your Tickler file, your bill paying system, etc. If you take the time to file it now, it won't stand a chance of growing into a huge pile.
4. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. Clutter and chaos go hand in hand. The more things you have, the easier it is for clutter to form and grow. Always remember to place your emphasis on quality over quantity. In other words, it's not important to have a lot of things, many of which you never use. It's more beneficial to have fewer things, all of which you use and/or enjoy. Simplify your life and you will get and stay organized!
5. FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED WHEN YOU NEED IT, GET EVERYTHING DONE WHEN IT'S DUE. Many people think that getting organized is about being neat and tidy. On the contrary, a person who is not very neat or tidy, can be very organized. Being organized actually entails 'finding everything you need when you need it, and getting everything done when it's due.' If you can master these two things, you are well on your way to being organized.
Post submitted by Maria Garcia
{Originally submitted to CharlotteMommies}
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Taking Care of Mama
The class I’d like to see childbirth educators add to their list.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I took every class the hospital offered, from Breastfeeding to Taking Care of Baby. But what really would have helped me is a class that doesn’t exist. A class I’d like to call “Taking Care of Mama.” You know the old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

About a week after I got home from the hospital with my perfect little baby, nobody in my house was happy because I was miserable. I remember standing at the window in the early morning darkness of a cold rainy Monday watching my husband’s car leave our driveway his first day back to work. All I could think was “The world is going on without me.” I’d given up my career to stay at home with my baby, but suddenly found myself wondering what the hell I was thinking. My days now consisted of changing diapers, trying to (unsuccessfully) breastfeed a fussy baby every 15 minutes, washing endless loads of laundry and watching way too much mindless daytime television. I signed up for this?
Two weeks later I was consumed with dark feelings. When I had to force myself to eat, I knew this was a problem bigger than the “baby blues.” I knew this was postpartum depression, even though I couldn’t make my mouth form the words.
You have to understand, I was the woman who couldn’t wait to be a stay-at-home mom. So when the dark feelings came out of nowhere, I was completely unprepared. I went to all those classes to learn how to diaper and swaddle a baby. I knew how to give the baby a bath and I was even prepared for that ugly umbilical cord stump thing, but I wasn’t prepared for this.
At least one out of every ten women who give birth experience some form of postpartum depression. It’s all over the news. You’d think someone might have at least mentioned it in one of those classes. Nope. Did anyone ever say, “For the next six weeks your hormones will be on a roller coaster ride that will make you feel, at the very least, not yourself. Your body will be recovering from the trauma of birth, while at the same time being more deprived of sleep than a Marine at boot camp. Oh, and you are also now responsible for the health and well being of another human. Life as you knew it is over. Therefore, do not be surprised if you experience an adjustment period.” C’mon. Would a little warning have been so hard?
Yet, alas, none of those healthcare professionals ever seem to mention taking care of yourself as a new mama except for instructing you to wait six weeks before having sex (as if anyone who’s just passed a seven-pound baby through her nether regions needed to be told that). No, all the classes are about the baby. Taking care of the baby, feeding the baby, massaging the baby, diapering the baby and (God-forbid) administering CPR to the baby. The mother is completely left out of the equation. What about the major emotional, financial and psychological turn your life has just taken? Sorry. You’re on your own there sister.
After a few weeks of feeling awful, I went to see my doctor. He knew exactly what I was going through. He told me if I hated breastfeeding, I should stop trying (and not to feel guilty about it), to get out of the house every day and to exercise. Then he gave me a prescription for an antidepressant. I left his office feeling like I might actually survive. And that was a feeling I hadn’t had in what seemed like a really long time.
I had no idea so many other women had gone through the same thing. It sure would have helped to know I wasn’t alone and to hear stories of success from other new moms who suffered from postpartum depression. To be reassured that I wasn’t destined to be a horrible mother and feel like crap the rest of my life. But sadly, few mothers admit publicly or even to their close friends what they are going through.
So here’s what I would tell moms-to-be in my “Taking Care of Mama” class: First, you have to make time for yourself. Get out with your friends, your husband. Get a babysitter. Not only is it okay to take time for yourself, but you’ll be a better mother if you take some time to recharge. Second, everything is a stage. As new moms we have a tendency to think of now as being forever. But the baby will eventually sleep through
the night and smile back at you and laugh and life will get better. And if you are feeling depressed, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Go talk to your doctor. He or she can help. Be empowered to do what works for you. Just because something worked for someone else doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
I’m glad I learned all those lessons. It just would have been nice if someone had given me the Cliff-Notes version ahead of time.
(Post originally submitted to CharlotteMommies)
Do you or someone you know suffer with Post-Partum Depression? Register at SantaBarbaraMommies.com to find support!
When I was pregnant with my first child, I took every class the hospital offered, from Breastfeeding to Taking Care of Baby. But what really would have helped me is a class that doesn’t exist. A class I’d like to call “Taking Care of Mama.” You know the old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
About a week after I got home from the hospital with my perfect little baby, nobody in my house was happy because I was miserable. I remember standing at the window in the early morning darkness of a cold rainy Monday watching my husband’s car leave our driveway his first day back to work. All I could think was “The world is going on without me.” I’d given up my career to stay at home with my baby, but suddenly found myself wondering what the hell I was thinking. My days now consisted of changing diapers, trying to (unsuccessfully) breastfeed a fussy baby every 15 minutes, washing endless loads of laundry and watching way too much mindless daytime television. I signed up for this?
Two weeks later I was consumed with dark feelings. When I had to force myself to eat, I knew this was a problem bigger than the “baby blues.” I knew this was postpartum depression, even though I couldn’t make my mouth form the words.
You have to understand, I was the woman who couldn’t wait to be a stay-at-home mom. So when the dark feelings came out of nowhere, I was completely unprepared. I went to all those classes to learn how to diaper and swaddle a baby. I knew how to give the baby a bath and I was even prepared for that ugly umbilical cord stump thing, but I wasn’t prepared for this.
At least one out of every ten women who give birth experience some form of postpartum depression. It’s all over the news. You’d think someone might have at least mentioned it in one of those classes. Nope. Did anyone ever say, “For the next six weeks your hormones will be on a roller coaster ride that will make you feel, at the very least, not yourself. Your body will be recovering from the trauma of birth, while at the same time being more deprived of sleep than a Marine at boot camp. Oh, and you are also now responsible for the health and well being of another human. Life as you knew it is over. Therefore, do not be surprised if you experience an adjustment period.” C’mon. Would a little warning have been so hard?
Yet, alas, none of those healthcare professionals ever seem to mention taking care of yourself as a new mama except for instructing you to wait six weeks before having sex (as if anyone who’s just passed a seven-pound baby through her nether regions needed to be told that). No, all the classes are about the baby. Taking care of the baby, feeding the baby, massaging the baby, diapering the baby and (God-forbid) administering CPR to the baby. The mother is completely left out of the equation. What about the major emotional, financial and psychological turn your life has just taken? Sorry. You’re on your own there sister.
After a few weeks of feeling awful, I went to see my doctor. He knew exactly what I was going through. He told me if I hated breastfeeding, I should stop trying (and not to feel guilty about it), to get out of the house every day and to exercise. Then he gave me a prescription for an antidepressant. I left his office feeling like I might actually survive. And that was a feeling I hadn’t had in what seemed like a really long time.
I had no idea so many other women had gone through the same thing. It sure would have helped to know I wasn’t alone and to hear stories of success from other new moms who suffered from postpartum depression. To be reassured that I wasn’t destined to be a horrible mother and feel like crap the rest of my life. But sadly, few mothers admit publicly or even to their close friends what they are going through.
So here’s what I would tell moms-to-be in my “Taking Care of Mama” class: First, you have to make time for yourself. Get out with your friends, your husband. Get a babysitter. Not only is it okay to take time for yourself, but you’ll be a better mother if you take some time to recharge. Second, everything is a stage. As new moms we have a tendency to think of now as being forever. But the baby will eventually sleep through
the night and smile back at you and laugh and life will get better. And if you are feeling depressed, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Go talk to your doctor. He or she can help. Be empowered to do what works for you. Just because something worked for someone else doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
I’m glad I learned all those lessons. It just would have been nice if someone had given me the Cliff-Notes version ahead of time.
(Post originally submitted to CharlotteMommies)
Do you or someone you know suffer with Post-Partum Depression? Register at SantaBarbaraMommies.com to find support!
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